Valentine Day Fight
Posted on Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Everyone knows Valentine's Day is supposed to be a very happy time, but if you've been married 5 to 15 years or more it is often relegated to an excuse to stop fighting and be nice. I am not kidding; there are huge numbers of couples who use Valentine's Day to break the pattern of hot and cold war that has taken over their lives. They take a break from the criticism and finger pointing, the yelling and cold shoulders, the sarcastic comments and rolling eyes.
Everybody needs a break sometimes from the pressures and tensions of an unhappy marriage. Everyone wants to feel loved a little, just once in awhile. Is that what you signed up for when you got married? I certainly hope not. Yet, if you are like 90% of the people in this country that is exactly what you have: an unhappy marriage. OK, maybe not extreme, but I'm trying to make a point here. The point is you signed up to get married to your true love so that you can enjoy the blissful romance experienced during courting, for your whole life. Is that what you have? Probably not, and it isn't your fault.
They Don't Teach "Marriage" in High School
Isn't it amazing that most of us will never really use much math in our daily life yet they pump it into our heads as if our life depended on it? On the other hand we don't know didily about relationships, happy marriages, or the other gender, and they hand us a diploma at graduation as if we are now prepared for life; it's ridiculous! The vast majority of us got married with completely false expectations and no idea of what to do, what to say or how to behave. The fortunate few who went to religious marriage classes mostly got lectured on the roles each must play to fulfill their obligation to marriage; as if marriage is this thing we have to pay homage to.
If you Suffer from an Unhappy Marriage, All you have to Do is Study Marriage;
Ignorance is Everything but Bliss
Here are some straightforward tips for removing Valentine's Day Blues from your unhappy marriage:
- Think nice thoughts about your spouse all day
- Tell your spouse, "I love you," at least three times and mean it
- Do not offer any criticism, constructive or otherwise
- Be more complimentary towards your spouse than you ever have been in your entire life
- Have no expectations for sex or recognition
- If you are a man and your wife wants to have sex with you, relieve the pressure before you do, so you can be attentive to her needs
There is no reason for anyone to suffer at all in an unhappy marriage. Anyone who has learned to walk can do so successfully, just as anyone who learns how to live in a marriage can do so successfully. Walking successfully brings you from one place to another, just as living in a successful marriage brings you to a very high state of joy and security. You don't need to suffer anymore.
Any body else's Valentines Day end in a fight?
GOD NO!!!! I don't beat her up!!!!
Life goes on even tho there's a holiday on the calendar. Money is still tight, the kids are still fighting, hubby is still selfish, snow is still falling....get the picture?! Oh, yeah, only our day started with a fight and then he left for work. I haven't spoken to him since and don't really look forward to him coming home later.
Marriage and relationships are so much work and TV hypes up the holidays--all of the gift giving ones---like everyone has thousands of dollars in petty cash just lying around to spend on their significant other. When your significant other spends at the speed of light, its pretty hard to have any cash on hand for paying bills and groceries let alone gift giving!!!
So to answer your question, yes we started with a fight and if I'm still awake when he gets home we'll probably finish with a fight--cause being intimate is the LAST thing on my mind right now--holiday or no holiday.
Pillow Fight in San Francisco 2009 - Valentine's Day
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